Amasya to Ankara to Istanbul

That is loud! I guess that’s what I get for booking a hotel so close to the mosque. What time is it? Just after 4. I’m pretty buzzed. When did I fall asleep? That’s what, six hours? That doesn’t seem like enough sleep. Who am I kidding? There is no way I am getting back to sleep. I have to pee. Might as well boil a cup of coffee. Who’s doing what in the world? What messages came in from clients while I slept? Do I have time to get any work done? It is so early, I can get ahead on the day. But a couple of YouTube videos first. Shway shway.

Is that the telephone? Why is reception calling me? What time is it? Half-past 6. Hello?

Wake up service.

Oh, thank you.

They were really paying attention last night when I said I needed to leave early. Okay, back to work.

That’s a pretty good dent in the day’s to-do list. How are we doing? Seven. Okay, time to get mobilized. Rucksack packed. Computer, hard drive, chargers packed. Do I need to change? I smell okay, fuck it! Wallet, phone, passport, keys. Shit! My keys! Still no answer from the agency. No problem, if they’re there then they’re there. If not, then we start making calls. Alright, let’s do this!

I don’t recognize this guy. Just hand him the key card, this isn’t rocket science. Look at that, they made me sandwiches to take with me. How nice! Easy. Everything’s paid for. Just have to wait for him to bring the car around. Better tell him that I’m going to be hanging out here in the alley for a while setting things up before I head out. Time to switch back from the flip-flops to the boots. Thank heavens it’s not so hot out today. Okay, GPS, good to go. Luggage stowed. Water. Passport and mask for the checkpoints. We’re good! Let’s go!

The GPS says four hours arriving just a few minutes after the agreed-upon arrival time. They won’t fuss. Three-hundred and sixty kilometres and just over half a tank. They gave me the car almost empty and I think I can make it the rest of the way without filling up again. What day is it? Saturday. Most Turks are still under pretty strict orders not to travel so I guess it makes sense that there is so little traffic. Oh, I like this song. Where is Shazam? Jeez, I don’t know, can I really make it another 300 kilometres on the gas that I’ve got? I wonder if they’ll charge me for the car being so dirty. Is that rain? Maybe that will clean the car off a bit. My goodness, the landscape of this country outside of the cities is gorgeous. Çorum, we’re making progress. That’s too much static, time to find another station. Not talk. That’s music, but I’m not feeling it. That has a beat I like, let’s keep it here.

I have to pee. The Turks do not do rest stops, what is up with that? All I need is a tree. Shoot, that would have been a good spot. I’ll find another one. Kirikkale. Almost there. Can I hold this in until Ankara? I can’t exactly stop in the middle of the city. I definitely have enough gas. What is this? A spring water pullout. That will do perfectly, just be discrete. Fifty kilometres to go, enough gas, and an empty bladder. I’m on top of the world. Oh, yikes! That’s the gaslight. I’m basically there, I’ll make it. First checkpoint of the day. What did she just say? I have no idea.

Do you speak English?

English, no. Passport?

We’ve done this at least two dozen times now. You just hand over the passport, they stand there looking official and inspect it, and then you just move on. There it is, she’s waving me through. Tamam? Tesshekur ederim!

Haha! I knew I’d make it. Crap. The GPS doesn’t know how to get me to the otopark. This isn’t right. What? I’m in the taxi lane. What is this guy saying? I have no idea.

Windy Car! Otopark!

Yeah, he gets it. Let me see, I understood the word ‘bir’ and nothing else. He was pointing like it’s going to help. Something about right and then left. Whatever, I’ll just put it in the GPS again. I can figure this out. Fuck! Quit your honking! Go around me! There we go. Okay, this makes sense. There’s the entrance. What kind of machine has this guy got? I guess it’s for security.

Tamam? Tesshekur ederim!

I don’t know what any of these signs mean. I remember going up an incline when I left the garage, so I guess I need to go down. Why are all of the lights off? Why are there no other cars? I must have gone the wrong way. The agent will know what to do. Is there even a way for me to get out of here? Yes, that’s an elevator. Park. Collect all of my stuff and don’t leave anything behind. Double-check. This doesn’t look like the train station. Okay, just pick a door and see if it opens. Why am I outside? Doesn’t matter, I recognize where I am.

Good morning!

Ah, yes! My keys! Brilliant. These crazy Turks, they don’t tell you what’s going on but they get things done.

So, I went the wrong way in the garage, pobody’s nerfect! At least this guy is cool. Seventeen Euro for tolls – that’s very manageable. No damage and no other charges. Bully for me! Alright, I guess there’s no reason to stick around Ankara – let’s go buy a train ticket.

No English? Another window. No English again? Another window. A little English? That’ll do.

I want to go to Istanbul. Tomorrow. 10 am.

Sold out. What about noon? Also sold out. Monday? Sold out, you gotta be kidding me! Five trains a day for the next four days and all of them are sold out. The bus? Asti? That’s far! Okay, I can’t solve this now. Let’s get to the hotel.

Oh, this poor man. I’m asking him so many questions. He has no answers but he is determined. Alright, first things first. Internet. Fifteen MBs down, 5 up – I can work with that. I wonder how much a flight costs – no harm in finding out. Forty bucks? You must be shitting me! Let’s at least find out how much a bus ticket costs. Okay, the visa.

Oh, this poor man. He has no idea, but he’s trying. Bless him. As long as I have cell data I can do anything. Don’t wait for the answers, let’s just go. Just remember to be polite.

There’s the print shop. It’s open!

English? No? No English, no problem!

She’s giving me the thumbs up. They can print it. And in colour too. This is brilliant. One lira? One measly lira? Oh, this was worthwhile. That is sorted. Let’s go back to the hotel and get it somewhere safe.

Oh, this poor man. He’s trying. Well, he did come up with some information. Buses to Istanbul every hour. All from Asti. One-hundred and fifty lira? That sounds like a lot for a six-hour journey. I can pick between drop-offs on the Anatolia or the Europe side? That’s a plus I guess. Okay, I know enough. A six-hour mystery ride or, for a few dollars more, a one-hour flight with a direct shuttle at the end of it from the airport to Taksim. How much is a taxi to the airport? I can afford that. Time is money and this will save me a ton. A flight it is. Read the fine print. Don’t need a PCR test for a domestic flight, do I? No, just the HES code. Solid. Done! Now, is there anything left to see in this town? 

Man, everything is shut down! But the lockdown ended days ago. Is this because it’s the weekend? Or is it because it’s Ankara? Well, it didn’t take long for that to stop being fun. I may as well be productive because I’m going to be without the opportunity tomorrow. But I will need to eat at some point. Good thing the hotel has a restaurant. Some pistachios and dried apricots from the market should tide me over until I need a real meal.

What time is it? Seven. Yeah, I think it’s time to have something proper to eat. What do they have on this room service menu? Let’s see. Salad. Gotta have a salad. And a little bit of meat. Chicken wings, that’ll do. Where’s the phone?

English? No English? Room service? No? No room service? Finished?

Oh, this poor man. He must be so sick of me. But he gets things done.

Yes, I tried to call room service and the man said that there is no service. 

Okay, at least he knows how to get me delivery. Thank goodness.

Why is this bag so heavy? I wanted food for one person. Those crazy Turks. Everything is a meal. Family-sized salad and chicken wings with bulgur and sliced onions and parsley. What is this? Some kind of sweet-smelling paste – that must be dessert. How much did I pay for all of this? Forty-five lira? I shouldn’t have filled up on so many apricots. This is going to feel like work more than a nice light meal. That is a depressing amount of food that I am not going to be able to finish. God, I hate wasting food!

Can I get more work done? Do I want to get more work done? What’s urgent? Nothing. I’ve got enough bandwidth to run Netflix. Early to bed, early to rise.

Maybe 5 am is too early. Shway shway. Cup of coffee. Do I bother to eat any of this leftover food? God, I must stink. I feel like I’ve been wearing the same clothes for over a week. I gotta stay in my pants though. I don’t know why but I just can’t bring myself to wear shorts here in Turkey. I already stand out and it just looks so disrespectful. I wonder if anyone notices that they are ripped. Resist the urge to buy new pants. In a few days, I will be able to wear shorts and I won’t need them anymore.

I’ve got some time to kill. Work, or play? All work and no play makes – They’re giving away the free breakfast. Should I? Might as well. But all of that leftover food. Either way, food destined for me isn’t getting eaten – that’s just the way it is. So what do I do here? Grab a plate? Oh, I point and he serves. I get it. Good ol’ covid. Yup, I can see how this strategy is effective. Resist the urge to roll your eyes. Ah, Turkish breakfast! There is something truly satisfying about an egg, cucumber, tomato, olives, and 6 types of cheese. If they are going to include breakfast, this is the way I like it.

Okay, I’ve dilly-dallied enough. Time to get serious. Time to get moving. Uber connects to the yellow taxis. Not my business how that works. As long as I get where I need to go, I don’t care. Wow, the airport is far. No controls? Passport, check. That’s my boarding pass. Wow, that was simple.

Barely had time to buckle up. Gokcen – it actually feels familiar. A month ago, I was so full of questions and now I know where everything is and where everything goes. Forty minutes into Taksim and there is the hustle and bustle of the city again. Istanbul always feels alive. Everything is set. My hotel is booked. My flight out is scheduled but that is a task for a different day. For now, just get to the hotel and settle in. Restaurants are doing takeaway so I will have plenty of choices for tonight’s meal. No mysteries. No wasted food. Tomorrow is your last day in Turkey – try to enjoy it.